This is a self-focus step.

“If only things were how they used to be when I was <insert scenario>”

“What happened? It wasn’t so long ago that everything was going well in my <insert life area>”

“I just wish things were like they were when I was <insert age or place>”

...Sound familiar? 

I know the social media memes tell us that the only person you should compare to is your past self, but I don’t agree.

For too many of us, the ‘past self’ casts a spell that:

• Makes us hyper critical of who we are today, only focusing on our shortcomings and failures

• Puts our perceived ‘high points’ in our lives on a pedestal, idealised and unreachable to us today

• Lets nostalgia cloud out the bits we don’t want to pay attention to, affecting our accurate judgement

• Our rose coloured glasses then tint our view of back then, so we can’t see what’s going for us now, or how to move forward.

And then there’s the added problem that we are tricked into believing that to achieve happiness or fulfilment again, we have to exactly replicate a certain time or place in our lives, even if that’s impossible!  

So yeah, when you actually go beyond the meme, below the surface, comparing to your past self is anything but helpful!

It’s actually pretty painful and destructive and it’s not getting you anywhere.

Who you are now deserves a fresh approach and personalised support, so you can be connected with your life TODAY and work on your own goals NOW. You have already taken the first step towards being truly and authentically you - you’re here!

Now granted, some people may see comparing yourself to yourself as a way to boost personal motivation and if that works for you, fair enough. For the majority of us the experience, in reality, can actually be incredibly isolating.

Loving what is TODAY…

I see any kind of comparison as a form of abandonment of who we are right here and now. The YOU here today holds so many untold talents, so many life experiences and a whole lot of courage!

YOU right here and right now, are a treasure on this planet. You are literally a part of our infinite universe in physical form. A heart bursting with love and strength. The talents and strengths you possess, no matter how seemingly weird/wonderful/traditional/small/significant they may be are all talents to celebrate in my book! They’re what make you unique. They are what make you, you.

You, my friend, are impossible to put into words, because your inarguable individuality means that you can’t be simply summarised within the confines of written language. In other words, It’s impossible to articulate your YOU-ness! There will never be another you, you are a gift in the here and now.

I’m inviting you to meet yourself right here, where you are, today.

We’re going to move beyond the perspective of constantly looking back, by gently drawing our perspective to the present.

You deserve a completely new and fresh approach to YOUR life. A refined blueprint and augmented plan to support you, based on what is important to you today. 

Treasure your memories and be grateful for your journey, but wake up from the spell the past may have cast on you.

Yes, carry your lessons with you, gather up their teachings and hold them tight, but do not torment yourself by reverting back to what once was. It’s a suffocating place to be and you deserve better. Just think, all the days you have lived have led to THIS moment and this phase of your life.

It is so important that we honour who we are now.

We acknowledge everything we’ve done to get to this point. 

Our skills,

Our experience

Our opinions

Our approach

Our perspectives

Our point of view

Our vibe.

Your hopes,

Your dreams

& Your goals

Matter now.

In this next exercise we will honour the whole journey.

Exercise -

We are going to get crystal clear on the incredible growth, lessons and insights that you have gained, since your age of comparison, to now, so that you can appreciate the version of you, that is here and now. 

Start by writing the age that you’re stuck in comparison with at the top of the page and write your current age at the bottom. 

Next, plot down the key milestones between those 2 points on your timeline that make you who you are today. (Don’t worry about getting the exact dates, just create a rough timeline).

Then, go back and write down the strengths and lessons that you took away from all of these experiences and milestones. 

You will soon get a very clear bigger picture of who you are right now.

WORKSHEET

Plot your timeline in this worksheet and be sure to note the strengths and lessons you gathered along the way.

[Please download a copy to edit. Tip! Save to a ‘CORE’ folder on your desktop/save to a CORE folder in your bookmarks]

Want to go deeper? Find your journal prompts below:

What are three positive things that I currently accept about myself today?

In what ways am I blocking accepting myself in the now?

What would my life be like if I thought less and less about the past?

In what way is comparing to my past self, keeping me small in my life today?

When I think about the compliments I receive today, these are…

What does this feedback reveal to me about how I am appreciated today?

What is the quality of my past self that I most prize and admire?

What can I do to begin to love that part of myself in the now?

Where can I start bringing more of that quality into the different areas of my life today?

My first steps to being really present with who I am today are…

SHARE

What did this timeline exercise reveal to you about yourself right now? Come to the group and share!
Share with us over in the community using the ‘CORE • 9. Comparing to Your Past Self’ topic tag! 

NEXT STEPS

Move on to learn to deal with envy and stop it in its tracks.