The 4 Different Archetypes of Comparison
Do you feel like comparison is controlling your thoughts, feelings and behaviours? Understanding your comparison archetype will help set you free.
Do you ever feel like comparison is controlling your thoughts, feelings and behaviours? That obsessing over what other people are doing is preventing you from living a satisfying life? You may even feel like you don’t actually know what it would take for you to be fulfilled because you’re constantly comparing your successes and failures to those of other people?
If so, please know that these feelings are totally normal, and also, that you aren’t alone.
But although I would say comparison is normal, I wouldn’t say it’s healthy. Which is why I’ve made it my life’s work to help people heal!
What’s interesting about comparison, is that it doesn’t show up the same for everyone. What triggers you might not necessarily bother the next person. And what causes them to fire off mightn’t really phase you.
That’s why, when we set about solving our comparison problems, it’s so important to know and understand deeply what comparison looks like for us. Because then, we can make sure the tools and techniques we use to move through it are targeted to our wounding and therefore are actually going to work.
In my experience working with clients as the world’s first and only Comparison Coach, I’ve identified 4 different archetypes of comparison. These are the 4 ways in which I see people struggle to get on with their own lives because they are too concerned with what’s happening in somebody else’s.
An archetype is defined as:
“A very typical example of a certain person or thing.”
You will find that, in the present moment, one of these 4 archetypes feels most appropriate to describe your relationship with comparison, but if you relate to others, too, I wouldn’t be surprised! I have found, both personally and when working with my clients, that our comparison archetype can change depending on what we have going on in our lives, as well as how much self-development we have done in particular areas.
What I can say for certain, is that being able to recognise what thoughts, feelings and behaviours you are currently experiencing when it comes to comparison will help you work towards a happier, healthier, more comparison-free life!
Ok, so let’s take a look at the 4 archetypes so you can see which you most identify with:
The Scanner
A Scanner is someone that compares themselves in lots of different ways, to lots of different people, at lots of different times. They’re literally scanning the landscape to find something new to fuel their comparison habit! Scanners have a hungry story that they aren’t good enough, and are looking for evidence to feed it. As such, they’ve usually become really good at getting a rapid overview of the data that supports their argument, and are just as fast at analysing it!
Always turned on and tuned in, they tend towards comparing themselves to people they don’t actually know (i.e. people on social media and in the public eye), as opposed to their inner circle of family and friends. This especially applies to people that post updates, images and videos on social that give the impression of an easy life. Scanners have a biased way of viewing other people’s realities, and are often unable to see that there may be much more going on behind the scenes that isn’t shown on the highlight reel. They’ll spend their time scrolling through Instagram, making themselves sick with envy, and/or looking for clues as to how they can create the kind of life they want, and the other person has.
2. The Scout
Alternatively, Scouts assess and rank themselves against the people they know—from nearest and dearest loves ones, to acquaintances they’ve met one or two times to people they just know of, because they happen to be in their network. They compare both online and off it, in real life, for example at work in their jobs or businesses, or beyond that, in more social settings. They might compare themselves to friends, family, colleagues, clients—even neighbours—and like Scanners, Scouts are pretty generic in their approach; they may compare their personal lives just as much as they do their professional ones.
As opposed to being jealous of randoms on the internet, like celebs or bloggers/Instagrammers, Scouts are more likely to be triggered by seeing or hearing about the success of someone on their own doorstep. They spend ages wondering what the other person has or does and how they can achieve the same goals, and sometimes even gossiping about people as they’re feeling bitter, resentful, worse off or less than.
3. The Archer
Archers are great at honing in on things at a distance. Their comparison is intensely concentrated on particular topics or people they’ve come across on the internet. Because their area of comparison is so narrowly focused, e.g. work life, they’re generally unbothered by comparison outside of it, in say, someone’s home life, and don’t compare much to the people in their immediate circle or geographical space, like their family and friends.
Archers will often have certain people under surveillance, collecting clues and info about what they are doing and wondering whether they should be doing likewise to bring about similar success. This can cause the Archer to lose sight of the bigger picture, as well as the resources, skills and talents that they have (and could leverage to make their own progress). This can be exhausting and frustrating, as well as make them feel like they’re widely underachieving.
It might be interesting for you to know that I identify myself as an Archer! To be honest, I’ve done a LOT of work on this stuff and I don’t really compare myself to people anymore, it’s very rare that it rears its ugly head these days… but when I do compare, or have in the recent past, it’s usually to do with work. I would see someone online, a stranger in America that looks like they've got it all going on, be like “oh, I wish I was like them!”. Once I was able to actually work through my comparison problems in conjunction with putting the necessary effort into my work, I was able to free myself of these feelings!
4. The Squirrel
And the fourth and final archetype is the Squirrel. Squirrels are good at collecting specific data about people in their life to whom they compare themselves. Their comparison is intensely concentrated on one particular person/group of people (as with the Archer), the main difference is that they compare themselves to those they know closely in real life. For example, Squirrels might compare their work life, home life or holidays to those of former school friends or colleagues. As these people are constantly present in their lives, they are constantly observing them and harbouring feelings of jealousy about what they perceive them to have.
Also like the Archer, Squirrels usually compare themselves in one particular area and don’t pay much attention to anything that lies outside of that. They tend to have topics that get to them immensely and can get worked up when they see that someone’s achieving what they want to with their own eyes. They can also get emotional when they hear so through the grapevine. Squirrels often feel like they’re behind in some way or are inferior to their peers. It’s really tricky to be a Squirrel!
So, let’s have a think: which of these 4 archetypes do you relate to most?
Remember, your comparison archetype can change over time as your life does, so one might best describe how you were in the past, or you might come to resonate with one in the future, even if the description doesn’t totally land yet. You will have one that’s most reflective of you in the present moment—if you’re finding it hard to pinpoint, try answering these questions:
Do you compare yourself more to people you don’t know online, or people you know personally in real life?
Do you compare yourself in a general way, across a number of different areas, or do you have a specific topic that triggers you, like home, work, money or love?
If you answered ‘people you don’t know + generally speaking’, you’re likely a Scanner.
If you answered ‘people you don’t know + very specifically’, you’re probably an Archer.
If you answered ‘people you do know + generally speaking’, I suspect you’re a Scout.
And if you answered ‘people you do know + very specifically’, I would hazard a guess that you’re a Squirrel.
Knowing where you’re at now will help you make moves towards freeing yourself of comparison altogether, as the solutions to each archetype’s problems are different. For example, the priority for Scanners and Scouts should be to refine their focus and minimise distractions, but for Archers and Squirrels, working on their self-worth will set them free.
If you want to find out for certain which archetype best describes you, I do have a quiz especially dedicated to this. It asks the 2 questions above, but also many more, because although those couple of answers can give us clues, as psychological beings, we are incredibly nuanced!
The quiz is available inside my membership, the Comparison Free Club. A one of a kind community, its sole focus is to provide you with everything you need to stop comparing yourself to other people and start living YOUR life. Now.
If you want to find out more, click here to do so. Doors are open for enrolment right now so if you feel the pull, or hear the call, like hundreds of others already have I look forward to welcoming you in!
Love,
Lucy xo