How to Find Your Purpose and Stay in Your Lane.
Do you find yourself constantly and continuously distracted by other people’s lives and achievements? So much so that it prevents you from moving forward with your own plans, or leaves you feeling confused as to where you’re even supposed to be going?
Babes, you are not alone. In the digital day and age, it’s all too easy to be focused on what other people are (and aren’t) doing that we take our eyes off the road ahead.
But how can we stop comparing ourselves to others and pitting our progress against theirs?
By using our energy productively to narrow our focus to be less on them and more on us.
At the time of reading this, the very notion of that might seem near on impossible, but let me assure you, there are tried and tested tools that you can use to work towards freeing yourself from the comparison trap, and I’m here to share them with you now.
Before I dive into the specific methods you might use to do this, I want to introduce you to the overarching theme that’s at play here: purpose. Now, this is quite the buzzword in the self-help space, so be clear, let me pull up the definition so we’re on the same page.
A quick Google search tells me that the dictionary definition of purpose is: “a person's sense of resolve or determination.”
Purpose is unique to every individual; your purpose will be wildly different to that of your friends, family, colleagues or clients... or any other Tom, Dick or Harry for that matter. It will also likely be attached to different things. For most people, when we think about purpose, we connect it to career. But in reality, for many people, finding meaning in life can be more closely related community, responsibility or spirituality and religion.
Questions that may arise as you reflect upon your purpose are:
Who am I?
Why am I here?
What are my passions?
Your purpose is the central motivating theme of your life; it influences your goals, your behaviour, your decisions and your direction. What better concept to tap into then, than this, when it comes to staying in your own lane? To stay there (and to ensure you are going in the right direction), you first have to know where that is!
WESTERN ASTROLOGY
Ok - let’s jump into some ways in which you can find clues to your purpose, stay in your own lane, and stop comparing your path to that of others.
According to the spiritual community, there are a couple of metaphysical ways you can do this.
Astrologically speaking, it’s said to be found in the north node and midheaven.
To find out what yours are, you’ll first need to know what your birth chart looks like. I recommend using Astro Seek.
Now, of course, it’s not going to be the case that identifying your north node (sometimes referred to as your true north, or north star) is going to tell you whether you should be a love coach, a primary school teacher, or open a chain of restaurants - if only it were that easy, babes! But it will give you an idea of how your highest self best operates in the world of work, meaning it can give you a great insight into your purpose. You can spot your north node on your birth chart by looking for a symbol that resembles a horseshoe. Let me give you a brief breakdown of what it means when it falls in each of the signs:
Aries: You are meant to be a leader, working independently in the direction of your dreams.
Taurus: You’ll benefit from hard work, establishing security and accruing wealth over time.
Gemini: The sign of communication, you’re here to share a message with the world.
Cancer: You’re here to nurture and heal. Your purpose might involve taking care of others.
Leo: You’re made to shine in the spotlight, and live life fully (and unapologetically) expressed.
Virgo: You’re an action taker who will do well to embrace logical, left-brained ways of thinking and working.
Libra: You’ll find yourself learning through relationships and being diplomatic and understanding.
Scorpio: Your happiness is found through pursuing your spirituality and connecting with the divine to uncover truth.
Sagittarius: You seek variety and adventure, which you’ll likely find through travel and spontaneity.
Capricorn: Your purpose lies in being independent, self-sufficient, and business-savvy.
Aquarius: You’re destined to leave the world better than you found it, through activism or socially conscious work.
Pisces: You’re a natural artist, here to create and be emotionally open and empathetic to those around you.
On the other hand, your south node (helpfully, an upside-down horseshoe) will tell you what comes (sometimes all too) naturally to you, and what you’re supposed to release or move away from in this life, so be sure to research that, too.
You can also check out your midheaven (which looks like MC on your chart). Your midheaven signifies what your end goal would be if you did fulfil your purpose in this lifetime. It’s your legacy and how you’re going to be remembered.
And finally, don’t forget to check out the 10th house which represents career, long-term goals, fame, and public image. Looking at which planets reside there permanently or are transitting through can give you a great idea of what your professional purpose might be.
Whether you’ve never dove into astrology before, or are clued up on your sun, moon and rising signs already, taking a more targeted approach to looking at your passions, purpose and career in this way can really help you define and refine what you want to be and do in life.
If Western Astrology doesnt speak to you, you might resonate more with Vedic Astrology.
NUMEROLOGY
In the ancient system of numerology, your life path and life destiny numbers could hold the clues.
Your life path number is your birthday, and one of the foundational beliefs of numerology is that you choose to incarnate on this day for a reason. This number gives you an insight into why you were placed on this earth, at this time and what you are here to do. It can reveal to you your strengths and weaknesses, as well as the gifts and talents you possess, or the challenges you may come up against in life. It’s called your life “path” for a reason, as it’s indicative of the journey you will take throughout your life as you discover your purpose. You might find, then, that you don’t completely resonate with your life path number once you read about it, but that’s because the answers are destined to be delivered over time.
The method used to calculate your life path number is pretty simple...
Write down the numbers in your birthday: (Day + Month + Year = Life Path)
In numerology, every number must be reduced down to a single digit, so you’ll have to do that for the day, month and year before working out your life path number.
Let me give you an example, we’ll work with 12th May 1971.
Day: 1 + 2 = 3
Month: 5
Year: 1 + 9 + 7 + 1 = 18, which needs to be reduced again: 1 + 8 = 9
Then add the single-digit numbers: 3 + 5 + 9 = 17, which is reduced again: 1 + 7 = 8
So a person born on 12th May 1971 has the life path number 8.
Take note, though: master numbers (11, 22 and 33) are not to be reduced!
Here are the topline meanings behind the numbers, but I suggest reading up on yours in more detail once you know what it is…
1: The Independent Leader
2: The Peacemaker
3: The Communicator
4: The Builder
5: The Traveller
6: The Nurturer
7: The Seeker
8: The Powerhouse
9: The Humanitarian
11: The Psychic
22: The Master Builder
33: The Enlightened Nurturer
Another way in which numerology can guide you towards identifying and staying in your lane is through discovering your life destiny number. This number represents how you will express your calling, and speaks to the traits you need to develop in order to become fully fulfilled. In other words, this is how you go about achieving the life of your dreams. If your life path is your lane, your life destiny is the light that guides the way!
Here’s how to work it out using the Pythagorean Numerology system:
Use your full legal birth name, take the number assigned to each letter and reduce it down as you did with your life path number until you arrive at one single digit.
I really recommend working out your life path and life destiny numbers (it’s easy once you get the hand of it, I promise!). It’s a really simple way to confirm what you already know about yourself, as well as uncover hidden traits and talents that you might feel inclined to lean into more. I especially urge you to look into this if you’re someone who struggles to identify with your astrological signs. Numerology is even more ancient, and a lot more logical than its star-driven abstract counterpart, so you may well find that one or the other works best for you!
If the Pythagorean system doesn’t feel aligned, you could research the Vedic, Kabbalah, or Chaldean numerology systems, to see if they’re a better fit.
IKIGAI
Or perhaps you’ll find the answer in the Japanese cultural concept of Ikigai.
If the above all feels a bit airy-fairy for you, and you’re more grounded in your approach to life planning - fear not, because the self-help community has another option for you. Ikigai (pronounced “ee-ka-guy”) is a Japanese concept translating to “reason for being”.
There is a process you can follow to find out your Ikigai, and it involves you answering the questions you see in the diagram below:
The process involves starting with the external circles to answer:
What you love
What you are good at
What the world needs
What you can be paid for
Then, you identify any overlapping answers. These fall into: passion, mission, profession, and vocation. Next, you work to find a theme that shows up in all four of these areas, and then, you have found your Ikigai.
Searching for our purpose can be a rocky road with many a twist and turn. Sometimes, we have conflicting ideas and ideals when it comes to what we want out of life. Our desires for a life filled with what we enjoy might not seem to fit perfectly with our desires for a life that’s going to financially provide us with the things we want and need, for example. But the beauty of Ikigai is that the answer lies in finding the balance between each of these areas, so that you can be fulfilled in each and every way.
An amazing example of someone who definitely found his Ikigai is Steve Jobs. Not only was he the CEO of Apple, the world’s largest tech company (and as of this year, the world’s most valuable company!), he also followed his passion for great craftsmanship. Now, I’m not saying that to find your Ikigai, you need to be as successful and rare as Steve Jobs… but I just think it’s incredible to see such a shining example of what’s possible if you are really able to master the balance between passion, mission, profession, and vocation. Whether you’re an iPhone person or an Android person, you have to admit that he smashed it!
So before I wrap up, I want to leave you with this quote from the man himself:
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”
I think we can relate this to any form of purpose, work-centric or other, because the truth is you are here for a reason, and if you don’t know what that is yet, keep looking. The more you focus on finding what lights you up, the more you’ll be able to stay in your own lane. But know the answers can only be found by looking deep within yourself, and not at what anyone else is doing.
I hope this blog post has given you some tangible tools you can use to aid your self-development and stop comparing and despairing. Though, if you’re committed to working more deeply in this way, and want to be supported, you might want to check out my membership The Comparison Club. It’s a space I created to help you be yourself… your whole self, and the best version of yourself.
We even have a resident astrologer, Colin Bedell, who brings his cosmic wisdom to my membership, Comparison Free Club, in the form of potent 3-month Astrology forecasts. His jargon free sessions complement our comparison free work perfectly, by helping you understand the influences affecting the world at large each month, giving you a greater opportunity to manifest and release by working with the moon, and allowing you to tune into your spiritual, mystical side.
If you feel called to join the club, click here to do that.
I’d love to see you inside so we can work together towards your comparison-free life!
Love,
Lucy xo