This is a self-confidence step

Now fair warning, I’m not going to be able to get through this next part without referencing Sting and Trudy again!

A PIP is someone, or perhaps a group of people that have done, achieved or succeeded at exactly what you want to, and continue to motivate you with that evidence. When you compile a pool of PIP’s you can always have immediate access to inspiration to break a spell of comparison quickly by turning your attention to what really matters. That is, your path and the clues on how to follow it authentically.

This concept is based on arguably the most important Neuro-Linguistic Programming technique, modelling.

I always like to understand a bit of detail and background to a concept before I apply it, so let me share some extra information with you here. I don’t just pull these ideas out of the sky you know, babes!

Through this step, you’ll apply a fun kind of research technique that involves you studying what the people that inspire you are doing and have done - that works - and turn that insight into techniques.

This has numerous benefits, the key of which is that rather than feeling unsure of yourself and a bit comparey, you’ll be able to arrive at your own easy and obvious next steps you can take with confidence.

It’s important to make really clear if it isn’t already, the purpose of this crucial step, arriving at your PIPs, is to provide you with on-tap inspiration and information to help you on your path to arrive at your version of the success or milestone in question. It is not to mindlessly reproduce, match or recreate a carbon copy verison of what someone else has done. This all about finding your own way. 

Sure there will be some things that you’ll choose to do just as your PIP did, because it’s the next logical step and/or really resonates with you. For example, you find out your PIP studied a certain course and when you Google it, you realise it holds all the knowledge you have wanted to acquire - great! 

And yet be careful of watering down who you are and not using your own intuition and intellect, by prioritising the influence of other people. For example, you discover a big part of your PIP’s journey to success was moving across the country but you really like where you live. You don’t have to do the same and uproot your life - you don’t have to go anywhere! 

I guess the best way to think of it is by imagining you’re an investigative reporter or perhaps channel the detective emoji!

Once you have found a PIP you can move on. You can look at, observe and then interpret the information you find out to test and try different approaches to see what gets you the kind of results you want most.

And the testing nd trying bit is fundamental - how can we know what works, or how to tweak and improve something if we don’t give it a go, or act on the info?

How to find your PIPs 

Go to your soul goal or your version of success you have defined in ana area of your life. Or another approach is simply to bring to mind something you really want to do, experience, achieve, feel or succeed at. Then the following techniques are yours to compile your list of PIPs. If you already have your PIPs, skip onto the next bit so you can start mining for gold!

Who makes you go ‘oooh’!

Who is the person that captures your interest and you’re always keen to be around? Who have you looked up to? Or perhaps even put on a pedestal in the past because you longed to be like them or do what they do? It might be someone from your past like one of your mum’s friends? Or more recently someone you have come to know, or be aware of.

If they stir something up in you there’s a good chance they have PIP potential

Who do you compare to?

Handle this one with care - it’s not going to work if you’re feeling particularly tender. Ultimately the person that triggers our comparison the most is showing us what’s possible in the most uncomfortable way. If you can be open to that and instead choose to work on being inspired by them, that can be a PIP

Who makes something look easy or has lit the way in the area you’re keen to forge your own success?

This opens up our PIPs to be celebrities, people in the public eye or that are well known. Just because you don’t know them it doesn’t mean you can’t become familiar and intimate with their own journey as part of turning inspiration into action.

Hop on Hashtags 

Use relevant hashtags on social media to open up your awareness and increase the pool of PIPs. For example, if you’re keen to change careers and are keen to find PIPs near you that have successfully done the same you might search for #newcareerpath and follow that hashtag (which has over THIRTY THOUSAND tags by the way!) You can then look at location tags and work out from that group who is based near you. This transforms your social media feed to include new inspiration and people proving it possible

Ask around

How are the most effective things often the most simple? Because you know what you want and you also know your own current situation you can let your network work for you and create the connection. You can put this to your social media community, your colleagues, your whatsapp groups and beyond… for example:

“Does anyone know someone that matches this description…. I am looking to find a former lawyer who, following a divorce, found love in her fifties with a really lovely partner, ideally based in or near Manchester with no children”

Put it out there and call in your version of the PIP you’re seeking!

Next steps

In order to now go deeper and gain the insight to pull together your plan. That is, understand how your PIP actually got to where they are now. What was their process and journey? 

There are different routes to follow depending on whether you know or have contact with your PIP

When you know your PIP personally or it’s reasonable to contact them: Do the Ask!

It’s really important to have a good intention and get your approach right with zero sense of entitlement or ‘grabby’ energy. Nobody is going to want to give up their time when they don’t feel respected. Nor are they going to spill the beans of their most personal life stories if they feel like someone is just looking for shortcuts. Tone is everything.

So you might try a version of the approach below when you contact your PIP that you know.

“I know it’s been a while and we haven’t been in touch but I wanted to reach out today to say how much I admire XYZ and how inspired I am by what you’re doing/ how well XYZ is going. If you had a little time, could I please have a chat with you to ask you about XYZ? Or perhaps email you some questions if that’s easier? I’m on my own path and I would be so grateful to receive some insight from someone like you. There’s no pressure - I know how busy life is right now. But I would kick myself if I didn’t at least ask so thank you for reading this far. Have a great day…”

When they say yes to giving you some time, before that conversation or email exchange you need to be clear on what you want to understand before you start, think about what you want to achieve. It’s useful to build in questions like the ones below:

• “Can you expand on how it started?”

• “What were the key milestones along the way?

• “What happened before that?”

• “What happened next?”

• “What didn’t work?”

• “Can you please tell me more about..?”

• “How/when did you know….?”

• “How did you overcome XYZ…?”

When you DON’T know your PIP personally or it’s not reasonable to contact them:

Of course, you can usually learn a lot about someone’s journey through social media and by googling them. But what about if you’re unable to get closer? This is where a visualization technique comes in. This is another treasure from the NLP Trove and is an interpretation of a perceptual positions exercise.

You’ve heard the expression “put yourself in their shoes?” well in this powerful exercise you will get to do just that. We will complete this together in our housewarming week s,o if you struggle to get clarity then that will help enormously. 

First, choose your PIP. The more time you spend watching and listening to them in a neutral state, the better so this if your PIP is a celebrity or on social media, spend some time becoming more familiar with them. 

Find a quiet space and perhaps play some calming music - I recommend solfeggio rhythms. NOw sit comfortably - you’re about to start to play a movie in your mind. A bit like when you would use your imagination when you were a child to create a mental image or concept of something. You can close your eyes if it helps.

Imagine seeing your PIP in their natural surroundings - their home, office, garden - wherever it might be. What can you see, feel and hear as you observe them there on the movie?

Next, imagine the camera of the movie changing and you are now seeing exactly what they see, through their eyes. Replay the movie from before again but this time you see, hear and feel what they do in their natural surroundings. You are perceiving the world through their needs, desires, emotions and perceptions and watching the world as they see it.

• As your PIP, what do you think and feel?

• How do you see yourself in this scenario or relationship?

• How do you react?

• What’s happening? 

• And what has led to this moment?

When you have received these answers, it’s time to go back to your camera, the lens that you, as you, are seeing the world, and as you return to your view take all the insight and learning that’s useful to you in this moment.

Finally, visualise in your mind, playing the movie and now YOU are in the place of your PIP and you’re living, in YOUR own way, as the main character. Repeat this a couple of times until you’re feeling connected with that new familiar, main character perspective.

Write down what you notice and explore your answers to the questions: How can I make this work for me? 

When you’ve done this, have a stretch, stand up and do a dance on the spot to shake off any emotion or residual feelings.  

WORKSHEET

Recipe for your PIP Exercise:

You know we love a foodie reference around here and today’s exercise is no exception...we are creating a recipe for your PIPs!

Which traits, characteristics and accolades make your PIP’s YOUR PIP’s? Each of us will be looking to different people for different reasons, and in this exercise we boil down what those are! As well as showing you how YOU are already similar to them.

Let’s have some fun with this and be sure to share with your fellow members! I’ll obviously be thinking of Sting and Trudy ☺️☺️

[Please download a copy to edit. Tip! Save to a ‘CORE’ folder on your desktop/save to a CORE folder in your bookmarks]

SHARE

Who are your key PIPs and what makes them inspiring to you?
Share with us over in the community using the ‘CORE • 6. Find Your PIPs’ topic tag! 

NEXT STEPS

Move on to learn how to create the conditions for your success.