COACHING WITH LUCY
REPLAYS
COACHING WITH LUCY - FRIDAY 17TH JUNE
Timestamps:
3:32 - Amy’s Question (about meeting her partner’s children for the first time and handling future potential comparison triggers)
16:20 - Anon’s Question (about struggling with feeling lost and overwhelmed)
24:36 - Anon’s Question (about comparison coming up in relationship with long-term partner)
33:53 - Anon’s Question (about navigating a break-up and comparison with peers who are engaged/married)
COACHING WITH LUCY - FRIDAY 13TH MAY
Timestamps:
4:15 - Marsha’s Question (about handling style and appearance types of comparison and perfectionism challenges that arise in warmer weather)
Jules Von Hep workshop ‘My body, My friend’ (5 videos down)
10:39 - Anon (about navigating the decision of whether to accept financial support from family, on the path to becoming a coach)
17:41 - Anon (about pushing love interests away due to comparison triggers)
21:53 - Anon (about understanding what to do when we feel our emotions have been hijacked)
Lucy’s recommended EFT resources coming soon!
26:23 - K’s question (on quietening internal chatter and being present)
36:00 - Helen’s question (how to navigate friends distancing themselves)
46:22 - Anon (navigating comparison with family and family dynamics)
53:12 - Merrily’s question (the relationship between comparison and confidence)
54:37 - Anon (navigating comparison regarding hen dos)
1:44:03 - Joanne’s question (how to manage negative self-talk)
Book recommendation: Playing Big - Tara Mohr (minimising language)
1:05:09 - Anon (where to begin when pursuing a career in coaching)
1:05:15 - Anon (how to let go of perfectionism when embracing play)
1:08:25 - Emma’s question (how to tackle ‘shiny object chasing’ tendencies)
COACHING WITH LUCY - FRIDAY 15TH APRIL
Time stamps:
4:09 - Kerrina’s question (about whether you should delete photos from previous relationships)
15:24 - Helen’s question (navigating comparison when launching an online course)
26:57 - Anon’s question (about working through trauma and coaching)
38:04 - Anon’s question (about letting go of clothes with intention)
49:50 - Sarah’s question (how to celebrate your progress)
COACHING WITH KIRSTY - FRIDAY 25TH OF MARCH
Time stamps:
1:35 - Anon’s question (about putting yourself out there after not getting much interest back on Human Design reading offerings)
6:53 - Anon’s questions (creating the courage to launch an offering and moving past the fear of no-one booking)
13:00 - Anon’s question (cultivating an evening routine)
18:50 - Anon’s question (about assuming the worst and irrational fears)
24:55 - Anon’s question (friendships drifting apart)
43:24 - Sarah’s question (working through the overwhelm of organising a trip)
35:30 - Anon’s question (buying courses and not completing them all)
COACHING WITH NICOLA - FRIDAY 25TH OF FEBRUARY
Time stamps:
05:40 - Amy’s question (managing perfectionist tendencies in her coaching practice and being the ‘perfect coach’)
16:20 - Suzi’s question (struggling with making mistakes)
26:58 - Helen’s question (perfectionism showing up in her writing; emails, social media posts, newsletters)
36:20 - Anon’s question (perfectionism running alongside anxiety and often feeling ‘this would have been better if…’)
43:03 - Anon’s question (embracing imperfection as a performer)
47:02 - K’s question (the overlap between perfectionism and control)
53:02 - Momo’s question (Embracing imperfection in new relationships)
57:10 - Anon’s question (Navigating the challenges of fertility and friendships ending))
COACHING WITH JO - FRIDAY 21ST OF JANUARY
Hello everyone! We had some technical difficulties with this recording, so we’ve uploaded it in 2 parts. [Please note that some sensitive topics are discussed in this session; weight loss, addiction and bullying - they have been marked in the time stamps below with ‘TW’. If these topics are upsetting for you, we’d recommend you skip those questions. Thank you]
Part 1:
Time stamps:
1:56 - K’s question (speaking to family about identity)
Part 2:
00:00 - K’s answer
08:27 - Anon (close friendship that feels unequal)
21:41 - Anon (how to make new friends after old friends have fallen to the wayside after setting boundaries/stepping away from unhealthy dynamics )
29:25 - Anon (lines of decline around weightloss conversations with friends)[TW weightloss/diet]
27:59 - Anon (navigating relationship with sister) [TW bullying and addiction]
25:24 - Anon (navigating relationship with boyfriend who is a vegan and animal rights activist)
50:34 - Bethany (dealing with guilt and self-doubt that arises when you start to assert boundaries)
57:08 - Joanne (gaining confidence to stop people-pleasing in the workplace)
10:00:00 - Jo (are there any sneaky or unexpected ways you have noticed people-pleasing coming up for people?)
1:09:30 - Anon (navigating comments made by an ex boyfriend who was focused on his version of success)
1:15:46 - Anon (how to stop editing your personality to suit a potential romantic partner)
Link to Matthew Hussey podcast - ‘what guys really think of your insecurity’: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/love-life-with-matthew-hussey/id1064051384?i=1000547049779
COACHING WITH LUCY - 10TH OF DECEMBER 2022
Time stamps:
1. Helen - 4:57
So the last few weeks I’ve really done well to unfollow a few triggering accounts, and to stay in my own lane.
But……the last few days I’ve started to feel envious of Christmas parties and get togethers! Working on my own there’s no work parties!
Am I alone here with this? Does anyone who is a one man band miss being in team? I’ve also seen other big meet ups in other memberships and I feel I’m at the window looking in!
Also 3 hypnotherapists that I know are starting a partnership and opening their own clinic… um hello jealous pants over here!!
I do feel on the outside sometimes and the funny thing I’m not actually a massive works party fan but I seem to be wanting a piece of the action all of a sudden! Anyone else?
2. Michaela - 15:20
Hi Lucy, I find myself often honing in on one person on my Instagram in terms of comparison- we are a similar age and both have toddler sons- I don’t know her and she lives in Australia- I think I’m very drawn to her aesthetic- it’s a travel/lifestyle/fashion account and I find myself feeling so envious of her personal style, her grace, her clothes, her skincare regime etc. The crazy thing is that fashion has never interested be in the slightest- I’m on the scruffy side of casual and even though I try to look decent I have no natural sense of style and my sisters often take the Micky out of my efforts (which really don’t extend far anyway)- but more than this- I’ve never been one to spend money on clothing and I just can’t bring myself to spend my disposable income on my wardrobe. Sorry for the long winded explanation but my question is why I am I coveting her lifestyle when it seems so unrealistic for me!? Do you think there’s an underlying desire in me to start being fashionable and stylish? Or am I just jealous of something I feel I could not realistically attain and how do you think I can get past this? I usually try and use my comparison to reveal and positively to guide me in my life but this has stumped me!
3. Susie - 21:03
I have always had a really good relationship with my Stepmum, both my parents have died and I have been grateful for the easy & supportive relationship I have had with her which has always felt quite relaxed and we have been quite close since my dad died 14 years ago and she has been a great grandparent to my children who have been born since then. She is quite opinionated and judgemental and I have seen this with the way she is with her children, criticising them and telling them what she thinks they should do. She has never been like this with me until a couple of years ago. She was quite dismissive when me and my husband started a property business and it has felt like she almost wants us to fail so she can say I told you so. I have managed this by telling her limited things about what we do and not discussing it with her too much and that has been ok.
In the summer we had a disagreement about the current situation in the world and our personal health choices and decisions we have made. She brought this up and was very direct about asking my opinion on certain things and telling me what she thought of my opinion.
I distracted her away from this topic and talked about something else but the way she spoke to me did upset me and has put me off getting in touch with her. At a recent family get together she was so rude to me and my brother and told us we were wrong and stupid, not prepared to listen to us at all, she also spoke quite nastily about her daughter's weight as well which was really unnecessary. I have compassion that she lives alone and spends a lot of the time on social media and watching the news so has a very narrow view of the world. I journalled on it after the family event a few weeks ago and prepared some ways to respond rather than react in the moment whilst also protecting my boundaries should it happen again.
I wonder how you would handle this type of situation Lucy? I don't want it to affect our relationship but fear it will if she continues to be as forthright in her views and express them like this. I can distract the conversation and avoid any tricky topics but ultimately it feels like she is being very disrespectful and I don't want us to fall out or it to create a distance as i already feel it has to some extent changed our relationship and the relationship with my children, my 14 year old daughter did not like seeing this side of her Nana
4. Anon - 32.38
I'm just completing the envy section of core again. Just like with the crystals of insight, it always reveals to me what I already know - that I want a relationship like others. I feel like I can see really clearly what I want but I just can't get to it and I feel pretty exhausted from trying. Can you offer any advice? I don't know how to complete the exercise because I honestly don't know the next steps to take. Should I continue to try as the exercise recommends or should I let go and let it come to me.
5. Sarah - 36.18
Hi Lucy, I am currently in a secure job with a salary and would love to start a family late next year. A big goal for 2022 is to start my business and work for myself.
How do I manage the transition from starting up my business to leaving my job? I'd like a more flexible job but I'm not sure what, that will pay a similar salary? I am really feeling the fear of not having my salary to fall back on and paid maternity leave. Realistically I need to leave the job I am in now to even get anywhere with my business content as this job drains the life out of me and I am not making the progress I know I can achieve.
I don't want to stay in my comfort zone but I don't want to be stuck for money when I have commitments. Am I being un realistic? I don't know anyone in a similar position to ask for advice from. Hope this is clear I have re written it a number of times phew. (I'm not sure if I'll make the live but I appreciate any advice, thank you) x
6. Jo - 44:43
I took a year away from job in the summer to focus on building my business and writing a novel, both of which I am making progress with.
However, I still find myself feeling I haven't done enough, because the process for both is slow (it feels a little like I'm a snail) and it then becomes easy to compare to others.
I think it would help if I could celebrate myself more along the way but I'm having trouble knowing when to do this and how (also I don't really want to use food or alcohol as both have been tricky for me in the past). Do you have any suggestions? Many thanks xx
7. Anon - 48:22
Recently I've been feeling very confused about which path to take forward. I'm single and my soul goals centre around meeting someone and having a family. I've read some advice from experts recently, and worked all the way back through Core and I feel like there's two paths to take; either I can set goals of going on dates (finding the next step) and putting finding someone first rather than at the bottom of my to do list, or I can let go of that and work on myself and the my dream partner will hopefully present himself. Neither option feels massively appealing right now. i've always been someone who has set and achieved goals but I'm struggling because when I have put effort into this one, it hasn't worked and I've felt disappointed and it's ended up hurting my self esteem. But equally I feel like I've worked on myself a lot and I don't like the idea that I need fixing in order to find a partner, I feel like I'm okay as I am to be honest! And I guess deep down I don't trust in the universe that someone will present themselves and feel impatient for it to happen. I don't know how to move forward really, should I push myself to keep going on dates even though I don't enjoy them? Should I perhaps find a way to enjoy them? Or should I focus on other things going on in my life and see what the universe presents to me? I've spent the year thinking and fixating on it and I think it's sapped the joy out of other areas of my life and left me burnt out. I wish I just didn't have to worry about it anymore.
Sorry this is such a long, rambly question. Thanks for all you've done this year Lucy and I hope you have the most joyful mat leave :)
8. Rachel - 53:47
Hi Lucy, hope you’re well. I am struggling. My best friend has just got a job in the Caribbean. It will involve her travelling to and fro NYC On a regular basis and she will be able to travel around the USA as and when she would like. Obviously, I am thrilled for her but also coping with the sadness that she will no longer be literally down the road. But along with all these feelings, I am insanely envious/jealous and my comparison is going in to overdrive. I would LOVE to have the opportunity to live abroad and spending time in New York and America is just my absolute dream. I’m so envious that she gets to do this and I don’t. I have small children, so this isn’t an option for me. I just feel like the envy and me feeling like this is unfair is really eating me up. She’s going to meet all these amazing new people and travel. I feel rubbish and sad. How can I get past this? Xxx
9. Steph - 1:00:55
I hope my question isn’t too heavy. If it is – please just skip or feel free to edit down. I'm just providing some context here for ease.
Hi Lucy. As we continue to cultivate our best selves here in the Club, do you have any advice about how to share those new versions of ourselves safely, and how to initially manage any red flags from people without going back under the radar? I ask because this year has been one of significant transformation for me, and I am so grateful that Comparison Free Club has been there for me the whole way. CFC has helped me find my own lane, define my difference, and be proud of my uniqueness. It’s wonderful to now have the inner confidence to show up as the real me, but I still find myself hesitant to shine outwardly for fear of attracting the “wrong” people for ME. I say “wrong” with the greatest of respect. I know everyone is on their own journey, at their own pace, but when I share my empathy/sensitivity/femininity, I tend to get a lot of unwanted attention (this has resulted in sexual harassment at work before…now healed with my therapist). It’s lovely to have people drawn to you for help, but it can also overwhelm my sensitive nature. To manage, I have worked on boundaries and am more aware of people’s intentions, but that armour can feel heavy to carry around. I would be grateful for any thoughts on dealing with (for lack of a better phrase) energy vampires, as we grow into our highest-selves? Thanks Lucy. x
FRIDAY 19TH NOVEMBER 2021
[Cord cutting resource here if you feel aligned to the practice]
FRIDAY 22ND OCTOBER 2021
Audio File:
FRIDAY 24TH SEPTEMBER 2021
Audio File: